Grief Counseling - The Top 5 Ways to Eliminate Grief

By Glen Russell

Firstly my heart goes out to all those who have lost someone dear. Professional grief counseling is not for everyone and there are a number of other ways you can eliminate the painful feelings of grief that you are feeling inside.

There is also the "stigma" associated with grief counseling or counseling of any type. The idea or thought of being counseled by anyone can be too much for some to bear. And this is understandable. We don't like to feel like we are emotionally "weak" or incapable of dealing with our own pain and loss.

All the techniques described below are hard-hitting. These grief counseling techniques confront the emotional pain of your grief head on, and are designed to give you back the control and power to overcome your own pain and loss. The top 5 grief counseling techniques are:

1. EFT - EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE

EFT involves tapping your fingers on meridian energy points on your face and upper body to permanently remove grief, pain and sadness. It works for everyone and it only takes a few session to permanently remove your grief and pain. For best results, seek out an experienced EFT practitioner. P.S. This technique truly works!

2. TIBETAN SOUND HEALING

This an amazing and very simple technique that can transform any negative emotion, including grief, into love in only 15 minutes. The technique uses 5 basic sounds to express the negative emotion, neutralize it, and then replace it with a feeling of love. See below for a link to five free teaching videos and learn to do this today.

3. VIPASSANA MEDITATION

This form of meditation will help you overcome your inner grief. There is a Vipassana Meditation center in just about every city of the world. You would need to attend a 10 day silent meditation retreat to achieve the benefit of this being used as a grief-counseling self-help technique. With the breathing techniques they teach you, and due to the fact that it is completely silent, meaning you are forced to be "still" and face your inner pain, this grief-counseling self-help technique uncovers deep grief layers - layers you thought you never even had. Not for the faint hearted, but it is the most amazing experience you could ever have. And it is all free, including food and accommodation. They only ask for a donation to pay for the next student and it is up to you what you want to pay.

4. JOURNALING YOUR FEELINGS

This is a tried and true method of expressing your deep feelings of grief and pain. And each time you express your feelings by writing about them, your feelings of grief and emotional pain become less and less. It may sound unbelievable that writing about your feelings can make you feel better and reduce your pain, but it does!

5. HYPNOTHERAPY - EMOTIONAL RELEASE THERAPY

Deep grief and emotional pain all resides within the subconscious "feeling" mind. And EXPRESSING your painful emotions of grief is the best way to overcome your pain. When you hold onto your painful emotions, they start to build up and become repressed over time. When you start to express them, you begin to release them, one layer of an onion at a time. But you have to start with the first layer - and don't be scared!

Expressing grief and pain is a very spiritual experience and you are truly at one with God when you are doing this! A trained hypnotherapist who specializes in emotional expression of grief and pain will get you to very deep levels of emotional expression by accessing your subconscious "feeling" mind. You may need to do some ground-work or phoning around to find someone who specializes in this area - but it is definitely worth it.

Glen Russell is a spiritual counselor and teacher of metaphysics. To listen to the five teaching videos for Tibetan Sound Healing visit http://www.howtofindyourself.org/tibetan-sound-healing.html To heal and transform the 12 parts of the ego go to http://www.theego.org
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7 Comments You Must Avoid If You're Consoling a Grieving Mother - Loss of a Child

By Cherie Rickard

A mom has always thought at one time or another that it could be possible to lose a child to death but she never entertains that thought for more than a second because the instant pain that hits you is often a sneak peek into a world she never wants to imagine.

I thought it would be most helpful to help others if they are ever face to face with a mother who has lost her child. We know you want to help but please avoid these empty and hurtful statements:
1. They wouldn't want you to be sad

We know that but we are in complete devastation and although this may be helpful years down the road, it's not going to bring you a good response from a newly grieving parent.

2. She/he are in a better place

Regardless of your faith nobody no mother wants to hear her child is better off without her and that's exactly what she will hear.

3. You need to move on

Are you nuts! I can't imagine why anyone would think its OK to tell a mother this ever. We never move on. We learn to deal and live without our child in the physical word.

4. You have "living" children here that need you!

A mother is always aware of how many children she has and we never stop being a mother to all of them. Temporarily she may need some support to help during that first year. Be her other children ride to school or day out at the park.

5. You have so much to be grateful for

A good mother is always grateful for her children. If she has monetary belongings she would easily trade them all in an instant for her child back, so leave this comment alone.

6. You will see him again. She/he wouldn't want you this way
See her child again needs to be immediately or it brings no comfort to a mother who has buried her child.

Later as she has moved to the acceptance stage this wouldn't be so bothersome or unwanted.
7. You just need to keep busy

We can barely get out of bed to use the bathroom for weeks, sometimes months so don't ask her to clean her house or start a scrapbook. Instead why don't you show your love for her and clean her house for her. After a year you can encourage her to use her tragedy to help others.

Wake-Up Call was released in eBook format this week by DerDiZ Media, Inc. and is available for immediate access via http://www.Wake-UpCallBook.com for $13.95.
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After the Funeral - Grief Counseling For Everyone

By S Matthews

When a loved one dies, we all react differently. For some people, accepting the inevitable loss of a 87-year-old much-loved grandfather following a lengthy illness is not that difficult. For others, it is an unbearable task. Similarly, some people seem to "get over" the loss of a small child in a relatively short period of time, while others never seem to recover.

For the many people who find it hard to cope with a death, grief counseling often can help them make the transition. Its goal is to help people grieve within a normal, healthy period of time and eventually resume their daily lives. Grief counseling can be a long-term process, a short-term affair or even a one-off, and can occur on a one-to-one basis or in groups.

For people for whom grief counseling is not enough, grief therapy may be the answer. It helps people with complicated or abnormal grief reactions deal better with the conflict of separation, using specialized techniques to help them eventually function again as a happy human being.

Five Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist and author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross first introduced this model in 1969 in her book On Death and Dying. She wrote it particularly for people who were dying themselves as the result of a terminal illness. However, her five steps later became identified as the five stages we all go through when someone else dies, and are now widely seen as a useful tool for people going through the grieving or bereavement process. They are:

- Denial. The first phase we all go through. Either you deny that it is happening to you or you find yourself "forgetting" that the event has happened at all, by continuing to set a place at table for the deceased, buying them a present or talking to them.
- Anger/Blaming. This stage occurs once the denial is over, when you get incensed over what has transpired and seek to lay blame. You might blame your husband for something he did "wrong", you might blame yourself.
- Bargaining. Trying to bargain for time, saying you will do this and that if the inevitable does not happen. Some people try to bargain with God to get their loved one back.
- Depression. Once you have begun the process of acceptance often you are faced with intense depression, and seemingly don't care what happens any more at all.
- Acceptance. When the depression begins to lift an acceptance of the inevitable begins, and you can begin to rebuild your life and move on.

How Grief Counseling Can Help

In today's society it's generally accepted that grieving is a normal process, but unfortunately we don't all know how to grieve. Grief counseling can help us to express our feelings and adjust to the loss. Please be aware, however, that in specific situations - such as when a child dies or a homicide unexpectedly occurs - that specialized counseling may be warranted.

Here are some basics about the grief counseling process:

- Grief counseling is specific for people who are bereaved. Grief counselors can be clergy people, trained therapists or social workers, and can work individually with bereaved individuals or in groups.
- The counseling seeks first of all for an expression of grief, and to understand that their feelings are normal and, hopefully, only temporary. It can be helpful to consolidate memories, learn how they affect us, and then move on.
- Some people feel so shocked or numb following the death of a loved one that they are unable to cope. Talking about these feelings and getting them out in the open can help them go forward.
- Sometimes there are unresolved issues between the person who is being counseled and the deceased. Counseling can help resolve them.
- As grief counseling helps consolidate feelings, it sometimes is implemented after a loss of a different kinds other than death, ie, the break-up of a relationship or the loss of a job. In many cases, the grieving process is the same. Loss of a feeling of personal safety following a trauma or even the loss of a dream many require similar counseling.
- When a child does, the two parents may deal with their loss differently - and at a different pace. Everyone grieves differently, although it can be hard for people to understand that when they are suffering the same loss. Couples grief counseling can help partners to understand each other's needs and not place blame on each other.

Many people wrongly assume that the funeral spells the end of the grieving process, when it actuality it's often the beginning. Grief counseling - and occasionally grief therapy - can help people come to terms with their loss and continue on with their lives.

Experts in the field have recognized that there is no set timetable for getting over a loss, and that it's not always important to stay strong. Everyone grieves differently, and you may feel numbness, disbelief, shock, anger, pain, fear and even physical symptoms such as headaches, chronic fatigue and panic attacks.

Getting the right support you need is paramount, not just from other family members and friends but also from support groups and professionals. Finding someone who has gone through similar trying times can help greatly, as can finding someone to talk you through the myriad changes you are experiencing.

If your grief is turning into depression, it's time to face things head on and get professional support. Treatment can lift you up throughout the mourning process, so ask for help - and get it. Coping with grief is not an insurmountable task, but it's one that many of us need help to get through.

Sarah Matthews is a writer for Yodle, a business directory and online advertising company. Find a Healer at Yodle Local or more Health & Medicine articles at Yodle Consumer Guide.

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Regaining Hope through Grief Counseling after Losing a Loved One

After the passing of a loved one, family and friends may experience intense feelings of grief. Grief plagues them with hopelessness, anger, despair, loss of direction, deep sadness and a great feeling of loss. Losing a family member or close friend is not something that a person "simply gets over" or even "just gets through"; they must come to terms with the loss, recognize the positive aspects of the situation, and continue on with their life as a happy, healthy person.

In 1969 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross  described the five stages of grief as:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

For most, the stages do not progress in a systematic manner. Any of the stages can happen at any time throughout the process, and avoiding grieving will only cause them to be prolonged. Grief counseling is a powerful tool that can help those who have lost loved ones regain hope and move positively through the five stages of grief.

Grief counseling addresses the challenges that present themselves after losing a loved one and confronts them head on. It helps that person cope with the natural reactions to loss in a way that allows them to continue with their everyday life. The counseling may be carried out through individual sessions but is most common in group sessions. Typically grief counseling in a group setting allows for people to share their similar feelings with one another and not feel so isolated by their situation. The meetings can be led by the group collectively, a professional or a grief counselor.

Grief counseling teaches those who have lost someone close to them methods to reduce unhealthy coping mechanisms. It allows the person to express their emotions and talk through the recovery process. The goal of grief counseling is to help a person reach the acceptance stage of grief. It is at this juncture that the person can experience sadness without it crippling their everyday functions. They can slowly begin to feel peace about the loss.

Grief counseling differs from grief therapy in that the behavior does not need to be stopped or changed. The role of the group, professional, or counselor is to be there for the grieving person and actively listen to what they are expressing. This allows the person to expel the emotions in a healthy manner without rushing or avoiding the feelings, stages and overall process of grief.

After losing a loved one some funeral homes will refer the family and friends to grief counseling sessions. It is important to understand that not everyone grieves in the same manner. Some will jump on the opportunity to participate, while others will shrink away and wish to spend reflective time by themselves. Grief counseling is an excellent tool for those who are debilitated by grief in that it helps them regain hope and functionality in their lives.  In the unfortunate loss of a loved one, it is strongly encouraged to incorporate such sessions into the planning process.



Regaining Hope through Grief Counseling after Losing a Loved One

Pain Is Inevitable - Does Time Heal All Wounds?

Pain Is Inevitable - Does Time Heal All Wounds?
By Nan Zastrow
"From every wound there is a scar. And every scar tells a story. A story that says, "I've survived." (Fr. Craig Scott)
"Time heals all wounds." If you are a griever, you have no doubt heard this clich� more than once. As a bereaved parent, I can attest to the fact that some wounds never heal completely. They leave a scar-a forever reminder of the pain once experienced. But during the time when the scar forms, we are given many opportunities to avoid prolonged suffering.
After the death of our son at the age of 21, my husband and I felt undeniable, raw pain. Like others, we chose to suffer because it seemed to give some value to the incredible pain of grief we felt. Pain and suffering cannot be hidden, and the pain that comes from grief sometimes hurts far harder and longer than anticipated.
It's simple to become absorbed by one's grief, and even stuck in the aftermath of the event that caused us pain. We are human. We want others to know we hurt. And sometimes we become determined not to "let go." We become obsessed with the injustice of life and draw others into our misery. Such negative energy consumes us and weakens us physically, mentally and spiritually-but we choose it anyhow. Soon friends and family drift away because our state of confusion becomes overwhelming to them. They feel helpless to console us. They concede that no matter what they do, we are unreachable. They propose that "time" might heal the wounds that fester in us.
Personally, I believe that time doesn't heal all wounds. Time simply goes by us. Time becomes one year, five years, ten years, and more. Time passes and our lives continue day-after-day. Pain quickly evolves into suffering when we allow our loss to rule our lives. Suffering is extended pain that we choose in place of healing and re-investing in life again. We become oblivious to the measurement of time.
However, what time does give us is distance from the initial hurt. This allows us to process our thoughts and offers us a choice to heal. We begin to realize that existing in a nothing-less life is totally exhausting. We observe others living life around us; and we secretly want to be like them.
What I know to be true is intense grief does change, if we willing allow ourselves to find our place in the world that still exists. Time softens the harsh feelings of those wounds-like an incision after surgery. With proper care, the incision begins to heal. The scar loses its sensitivity, and through the natural healing process, the painful memory softens.
The signs of reinvesting in life
Although the grieving process is complex, we can find simple signs that instinctively we want to heal from our pain. These signs simply say: "It's time to let go and move forward." Some of the signs we experienced included these: We began telling the stories of Chad's life-many times with a chuckle and a smile. We began to attend social and family functions recognizing the benefit of having supportive people help us face a changed world. We connected with God in new ways that were personal and fulfilling and put aside our anger. We sought ways to make sure Chad's life mattered.
A very positive sign of reinvesting in life is the search for meaning. This is a process of discovery that causes one to ask: "What is my life's purpose? What is my life plan? Is God still watching over me?" We searched and found reasons to be happy again. It was healing to awake in the morning and discover your first thoughts weren't about Chad or the misery of grief. This gave us new energy to begin a day with new possibilities. We appreciated the little miracles everyday.
The growth of compassion and understanding are key signals that the wounds are healing. We instinctively became more compassionate with all kinds of losses and struggles that others were dealing with. Grief is humbling and it can open your heart to limitless opportunities to share, serve, and to walk a new path, much different than ever imagined.
It's not time that heals the wounds. It's what we do with our grief and with our lives as a result of the trauma or loss that caused us great pain. When we observe others who have "overcome" obstacles in life, we mentally compare our situation to theirs. We may look at them and wonder. "I can't imagine how they did it. What is their secret?" When we act on these instincts, we replace pain and suffering with HOPE.
Who am I now?
We become proponents of change, because we recognized that to live fully we must honor the obstacles we've overcome. We live in a world of change. Think back a generation or two and recall all the change that have occurred in technology, life styles, clothing, women's rights, and disease management. Be amazed at how adversity creates change and change creates a better existence.
I feel blessed to have gotten through intense grief and to have learned to embrace the results. I feel blessed to be able to look back and remember, as awful as it was, and recognize that the flashbacks to that pain are temporary. I can quickly return to the present world of the living. I will never forget Chad, who was such a wonderful part of our lives. His story still reinforces great lessons of human nature, humility, sacrifice and unending love.
There is no doubt that I am not the same person I was before Chad died. On the outside, I've definitely aged. But on the inside, that's where I'm really different. I've learned that the surprises of life make me as vulnerable to challenge as the next guy. I have "forgotten dreams" replaced with "maybe moments." I've put my regrets ("I wish I would have, could have") behind and focus only on the sanctity of happy memories. Loving family and friends have shared my sorrow; listened to my story; and helped me honor the past.
On the inside, I understand the word "friend," and I'm fortunate to have made many new ones. I value my commitments and have learned to say "No." I adjust my priorities, sometimes after tense moments of fighting the inner ego that says "you have to" or "you need to." I am more true to myself. In the need to create continuity in life, I try to build bridges where there once were many gaps. Although it seems as if I'm often unprepared for a single event, I'm more prepared for the grander event of all.
I'm still the mom who lost a child. I still feel sad dreaming dreams that will never come true, but I move on. Time has healed the deepest wounds, but a shadow of the scars will always remain. They are battle scars; medals of honor. They signify Courage, Wisdom, and Strength. They create limitless stories of Hope. They are marks in time, lessons of love, and I wear them proudly. They pay homage to this anonymous quote; "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." I chose to heal the pain and replace the suffering with hope.
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Do You Understand Your Grief?

Do You Understand Your Grief?
By Duane Marchant
To gain new essential understanding about your grief is strategic to moving through your sorrow. Before you can begin a healing journey you must understand your Grief. Clarity about your personal circumstance is absolutely necessary for you to be able to embrace the best solutions for your happiness. Grieving is complex and confusing. Your personal sorrow is unique to you and you alone. Understanding your private sorrow is important to you because you grieve differently. Your unique grieving and healing process is distinctive to you. Do you understand your grief?
Grief is real:
Grief is a powerful force that settles in your heart and mind like a dark heavy fog. Your vision is clouded, your confidence in self is uncertain. Your heartbreak is difficult to describe; sorrow is unexplainable. Grieving is personal and unique to each individual. Some struggle mightily with sorrow-more than once. Others seemingly never have horrific sadness. Nonetheless, the grief you experience is real.
Your sorrow may feel like fear:
You fear what you understand. You fear what you don't understand. You fear the unknown. Your cause for your grief is only one of thousands of reasons why bereavement is experienced throughout the world. Perhaps, your grief is awkward, often painful and complex. Your grief is seldom, if ever, planned for and certainly not invited. Usually your grief is never one emotion. Your sorrow may be mixed up with many other feelings. Your grief may actually feel so much like fear.
Your Grief may make you feel powerless and vulnerable:
Typically, grief is accompanied by an avalanche of partners-sorrow, fear, hopelessness, and uncertainty. Grief is like 15,000 puzzle parts scattered on the table, peculiar in every way to circumstance and personal to you. You feel like you are sitting at the table trying helplessly to put the sorrow puzzle together blind folded. There you sit feeling washed up, powerless and vulnerable.
You should feel no shame admitting your grief:
Grief is always a matter of relativity. Your sorrow is measured by its proportion to you. A laceration is as painful as an amputation to another. It is a wasted effort for you to compare the extent or severity of your sorrow with others. Your grieving is real it is personal and exclusive to you. Your grief clock keeps its own time. Your clock tells the correct time. Grief for one is often not understood by another. Personal grief is complicated, complex, and confusing. You should feel no shame admitting your grief than if you were affirming acknowledgment of a broken leg. Far more important is recognition of your grief as you struggle for peace and understanding.
It is important for you to understand the forces of grief:
Your extreme sorrow is more than discouragement, more than a bad day at the office. Grief is like a merry-go-round it goes round and round as you ride the grief horse you go up and down. Grief is cyclical; enduring it as you move through it is best accomplished as you understand the forces of horrific grieving. Don't be ashamed of the foregoing mentioned emotions. They are tangible.
The depth of your sadness may seem everlasting:
Grief affects many throughout the world in innumerable ways. Compassion and empathy is needed for those who lost loved ones through death, cancer patients, amputees, the wounded warriors, the bed-ridden, those with serious medically diagnosed conditions, and those whose hearts ache because of a multiplicity of other causes. Your great struggle with the depth of the sorrow you experience may seem everlasting. Nevertheless, your peculiar grief is absolutely real. Heart ache to one is often not understood by another; however your sadness and anguish are present.
Healing is possible when you understand your grief:
It is likely that you reflected upon the foregoing expressions as grief bullet points to ponder. Only when you understand what grief is, and how powerful it can imprison your thoughts, emotions, and even your whole persona, can you begin to work through your grief. Understanding your grief and what you can do about healing helps you begin your healing journey to a healthier happy place in your life. Remember in the world of grief and sorrow, healing begins with you.
You are about to discover 7 Effective Strategies for Overcoming Grief and Reclaiming Your Joy. Visit http://www.griefreliefacademy.com/ to get your FREE 7 day audio and e-course. ($97 value)
Duane Marchant is a Grief Relief Specialist who supports men and women throughout the world. He is an amputee, author, speaker, coach and founder of Grief Relief Academy. He believes life is precious and dedicates his time to healing hearts and drying eyes, one at a time.
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Talk to someone about your grief

If you can't talk about your grief, how do you ever expect to get over it? One of the best ways of getting through any type of grief or loss is to communicate it to others. If you keep all that emotion bottled up inside, it is eventually going to find it's way out, in ways that you would never expect. Some people have nightmares, others end up becoming numb or angry all the time.

Your grief has to come out in some way, so why not share it with people who care about you. That's the first step. If you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, that would be healthy to have a conversation with, seek an expert. Not all psychologist make you pay either, almost every university has programs that offer free counseling. This can be a great way to get out your emotions and get advice from an expert who has experience dealing with grief.

Check out this article that answers the question, Why you should talk about your grief? http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-You-Should-Talk-To-Someone-About-Your-Stresses-or-Grief---2-Reasons&id=8520653 Dont try to get through it alone, why not hire a friendly face that will help you get through your stresses? visit http://www.soulworkswithin.com/grief-counseling-phoenix-az/ for more information about stress relief or grief recovery.